How Guys Should Greet Each Other in 2014
I am a young man, and with daily regularity, I move through a metropolitan area. In this area, there are tons of people that I don’t know. A smaller number of these people I actually do know personally, but in varying degrees.
Greeting women isn’t all that complex: I kiss my female friends on the cheek, I usually greet my girlfriend with a kiss on the lips and women who insist on a hug, I usually greet with a bow.
Greeting men, on the other hand, is more complicated. Men from different social classes greet each other in different ways. Since a greeting is a form of contact that implies a first meeting (be it ever, or just on that particular day), discussing the means of greeting your counterpart properly beforehand is basically impossible. Which is why shit like the gif above happens every day.
These clumsy ways of greeting other males from different backgrounds catch me off guard every once in a while. So, to avoid further embarrassment, I have summed up some of the most popular greetings, complete with gifs and guidelines on how to pull them off successfully—as well as the mortifying pitfalls of fucking them up.
HOW TO DO IT RIGHT:
It’s completely natural to forget somebody’s name, so don’t worry about that. But do remember that every time you avoid eye contact during a handshake, somewhere on the planet a panda nursery explodes.
The moment: Self-explanatory. First introductions and formal occasions.
Do shake: Fathers-in-law, dentists and undertakers.
Don’t shake: Exes. That classmate you used to scavenge 7-Eleven with after school in search of rolling papers and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.